The Big Apple's Jack
by AngelxofxmusicXx
Summary: Our darling Joker thinks he has it all and that he doesn't need anyone but himself. But a trip to the Big Apple and three beautiful woman might just change his sick and twisted mind. Alice in Wonder Land concept JokerXOC's HUMOR/ROMANCE Read & Review.
1. Prologue

Authors Note: Alright everyone I'm taking a small break from the rewrites of my other fanfictions to start a little something new. Keep in mind this is TOTALLY for laughs and I don't really care if no one else likes it. But read and review anyway. Oh and thank you to my Beta WaterSage093! She's the best EVER!

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, it belongs to DC comics, and the Joker is Heath Ledger's greatness, but I do own myself and my friends (well, not really, but in this fanfic I do. :D).

The sounds of Gotham City were alive and well on this fine July night. People, cars, music and night life played throughout ever corner you could find. Some said there was too much noise for anyone to live but everyone knows that the noise is what makes a city…especially this city.

However, there was someone who stood above the noise and life. This someone wanted to watch this god forsaken city burn. It had no real life within it and he was the only one who could truly see that. That someone was The Joker.

He would show Gotham just how easily its citizens could be _pushed_ into madness. He ran his tongue over his red painted lips quickly so it was almost unnoticeable. Although one might think it was a sign of nervousness, The Joker was anything but nervous. Everything was in place for the bombing of Gotham's busiest street. There was never a time of day that it wasn't filled with hundreds of people. It would be every man for himself. As always he allowed the media to know of the danger, but he left out just one _little_ detail: the street he was blowing up into the skies.

The smell of panic that now filled Gotham City's air could suffocate any _normal_ person. However, our dear friend, The Joker, was excited for the up coming show. His excitement was almost like a sexual high that he couldn't come down from. Fear seemed to get him off like nothing else could. At this moment he needed more. His dark, almost hallow eyes shifted to a nearby clock that hung on the wall of the run down building he was hiding in. He wanted to be close to the action but far away so he wouldn't get hurt.

"Come on. Come on. Move faster." He practically growled at time itself, willing it to move faster.

Only two minutes left till the real fun began. Which also meant there was only two minutes left for the Batman to take off his mask. Those two minutes seemed to last a millennium, not only to The Joker but the people of Gotham. After the two minutes were up there was still no sign of the bat. The detonator was pulled from the pocket of his purple pants.

"And. Here. We. _Go!"_

_BANG! _

The ground shook with such force as laugher ripped from Jack's throat. His laughter distracted him from the small mistake he had just made. The blast had been stronger then originally thought to be; putting this strange painted up clown in some _serious_ fucking danger. Even if he had noticed the mistake now it would have been too late. Some of the ceiling started to chip and fall apart, alerting the crazy clown of his doom.

His laughter died within the new sounds of the ceiling cracking. Dark eyes shifted upwards just as a large piece of plaster fell right on top of him. It had happened so suddenly that for once in his adult Joker life; he in fact was shocked. The only thing that could have shocked this man more was if his skull was **not** split in two. Darkness seemed to snatch him up like pedophile, taking him away to a far away place where no one would be able to bring him back. And then…

Nothing.

The Joker's eyes shut for what he thought would be the last time. Oh, how wrong our poor little Jack shall be.


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Thank you SO much for the reviews. Please keep on reviewing, it makes me oh so very happy. And I only require one thing to make me update; three reviews per chapter. So once I get another 3 reviews for this chapter I'll post up chapter 2 D

B/N: This is some funny shit, yo.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Joker? Yeah.

The sun shined through the thousands of tree's that stood tall and proud in the middle of Central Park. The day was beautiful and warm, just like a summer day should be. Since the day was so amazing, there were a lot of activities buzzing through out the sun filled park. However, the main activity was three best friends walking their wolf-dog down the road.

"Hahahah, and then he came up to me and said 'suck me beautiful'! I was so grossed out!" A young girl with curly red hair named Alyssa explained, telling the latest gossip to her two best friends. Alyssa was a very slim, young woman with natural tan, bright emerald green eyes, with the said hair that gave her the appearance of the Little Mermaid. But Alyssa was far being a cute little fish girl; she was a fashion designing, independent, 'bitch'.

"Listen, I know how you feel! Remember that homeless guy that grabbed my ass and asked me if I'd do him in his box?" replied Julianna, who stood next to Alyssa. Julianna was a tall and very curvy, her hair was midnight black that ended mid-back and her eyes were a warm brown color. She was a crazy, random criminologist/make up artist who had a very strong love for Heath Ledger.

More laughter was heard on the right side of Alyssa. It was soft and clear, almost like a bell. "You two are sooooo weird!" Andrea exclaimed while continuing to laugh. Andrea was the palest out of the three and the shortest, but that didn't take away from her beauty. Her chocolate brown hair ended just under her shoulders and her green-gray eyes sparkled mysteriously. She was the 'mommy' of the group, which meant that she dealt with all quarrels within their 'family'. Her mommy-like status only gave away her child psychologist profession.

"And …? Go on, make a point. Though I am psychotic, I am not an idiot." Julianna said teasingly though she was trying her best to sound serious.

"Coulda' fooled me!" Alyssa chimed in.

"SHUT UP, ASSHOLE!" The raven haired girl screamed. At one of his master's scream, the girls' dog, Matt Tuck, started to bark.

"Stop it, you two!" Andrea said sternly, "You're scaring my poor Matt Tuck!" She leaned down a bit so she could pet Matt Tuck's beautiful ebony fur.

Julianna rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath. "His name happens to be Bullet."

"Um, def not. His name is Matty!" Alyssa said while crossing her arms under her breasts.

Before Julianna could reply, Andrea held up Matt Tuck's squeaky Batman chew toy. "So … who wants to throw the toy first?" She cut in, ending the fight with her skills before it had even started.

Both Alyssa and Julianna called out for Andrea to give them the toy. Matt Tuck just sat back, watching his humans argue with his big, sky blue eyes. Somehow in the midst of the squabble Julianna had gotten a hold of it. "AHAH! VICTORY IS MINE!" She screamed out at the top of her lungs.

Andrea took a step back while Alyssa still tried to get the toy from Julianna's grasp. Out of desperation, Julianna stupidly threw the toy as far as she could. Let me tell you, that was pretty damn far. The toy flew out of site and into some trees. "Holy shit on a stick …" Andrea muttered just before her two other companions started to scream a colorful string of curses at one another.

Neither of them wanted to go and get Matt Tuck's chew toy. And who could blame them? It was far away from where they were now.

"If you think for even one **second** that me and my designer heels are going over there then you're fucking crazy!" The obviously angered Alyssa screamed.

"Oh yeah? WELL, FUCK YOUR DESIGNER HEELS!" Julianna retorted, just as pissed off as Alyssa was.

Andrea's green-gray eyes moved like a ping pong balls while watching her friends yell at one another. Suddenly, she found herself coming down with a serious case of 'bitch'. She got up and pushed the two fighting girls away from each other. "Come on, Matt Tuck! Let's go find your beloved chew toy before I cut both of their hearts out with spoons!" At Andrea's command Matt Tuck stood up. He yawned, showing off his sharp, pearly white teeth.

"Why spoons, Andrea? Why not a knife or an axe?" Julianna piped up just before Andrea was out of ear shot.

From the back it appeared that Andrea was calm and relaxed, but her tone gave her frustration away in seconds. "BECAUSE THE SPOON IS DENCE, IT WILL HURT MORE, YOU TWIT!"

"Damn … you mad, huh?" Alyssa questioned, using a bit of Ebonics. But she still received no reply from her annoyed friend.

Matt Tuck fallowed along side his 'Momma', sniffing around for his toy. Andrea knew her faithful pup would bark when he sniffed it out. They kept walking in the general direction that the toy was thrown until Matt Tuck's barking filled the air followed by him running off.

"Matt Tuck?! Where are you going?!" Andrea didn't think twice about running after him. Her furry companion led her through some bushes and trees, barking the whole way.

"DAMN YOU MATT TU-" Andrea's yelp was cut short with her tripping over something. "Ooof!" She exclaimed once her body hit the ground. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down, she moved her thick, brown hair out of her pale face and looked over at the 'thing' she had tripped over.

"AHHHHHH!! A DEAD HOBO CLOWN!!" Poor, frightened Andrea screamed out at the top of her lungs. Desperately, she tried to move away but her heals dug into the ground, causing her to be stuck.

Alyssa seemed to show out of no where, looking for her lost friend. "Hey! Andrea? Where are y-" but, sadly she found herself also tripping over the "dead hobo clown". Both fallen girls groaned in annoyance and pain. _'Stupid dead hobo clown!'_ They both thought just before screaming in realization of it all.

At the screams of her two beloved friends, Julianna ran to the rescue. "DON'T WORRY GIRLS! I'M COMING!" Her raven black hair blew in the wind as she ran, giving her the appearance of a bat. Just then Julianna started to sing her favorite song in the whole wide world! "DUNANANANANANANANANNANANANANAANNA BATM-"

An almost dog pile had formed right by the man's body. Of course he was **totally** KO'd or else he might have had a 'smile' and some **really** creepy shit to say to these women.

Utter silence had now fallen upon these three best friends as they stared in wonder at the wounded man before them. His body lay limp but his form still demanded attention, his face was turn towards them as blood rolled down his green hair and painted brow, his purple coat and pants were tattered and dirty and his face … His face was panted white with black circles around his eyes and a big painted red smile. None of them had to say it, they all knew all they're minds were thinking exactly the same thing; _The Joker_.


End file.
